i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
