can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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