We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
