Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
