Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
