ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
