i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
