im about as happy as oj after his trial
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She told me I should be a condom model.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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