i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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