before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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