he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
only you would photoshop your dick
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Couch. On fire.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
