Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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