i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize