Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize