3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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