He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
