YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
MIDGETS
????
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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