I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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