I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
