i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
