I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
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