are you so shy because you have an std?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
