Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
