woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
