I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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