don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
