Pappa wants mamma naked
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
