Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Dick very happy bro
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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