1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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