the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
