guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
