I cannot find my penis.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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