Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
