it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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