everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
