Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize