if you like me you must not know who I am
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
