no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
