Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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