It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize