oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
this will be a night to untag.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
