so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
