You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
