great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
