is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just made my gag reflex go away.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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