I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The chlamydia really affected his face.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
