Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
