you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I love having hate sex.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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