i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
There are leaves in my underwear?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
