I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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