I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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