I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
