You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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