vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
