I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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