I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
