My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
