Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
